Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm sobbing to NWA
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Lo siento on account of my penis...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
