i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
