just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
