but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
