why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
