fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You made out with two different species that night
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
