You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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