I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
