My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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