Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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