if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
