Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
