im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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