So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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