I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
