ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We have started to decorate penises.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
