Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
