U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
