don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
