We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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