Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
