All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
