I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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