Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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