I want to have your abortion
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
