If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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