he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
