You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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