I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
