I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so that wasnt chicken after all
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
