I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
