I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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