never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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