this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
