He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
