i just wanna soil my oats bro
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
