I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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