Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
