Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize