weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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