How'd it feel making her break her religion?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
