you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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