Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
