Porn is love you can see.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Do you remember whose house we're in?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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