i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
