beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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