just come out here and I will go home with you...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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