I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
