Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
