You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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